I Wear Maternity Underwear

So what?  They are comfortable.  I am not talking about the stretched out kind that extend over your belly.  I am referring to the bikini briefs.  They ride low in the front just like Jockey or Hanes Her Way but they have just the right amount of material in the back.  I am a Mom of two kids and I like pie.  I need just a little extra coverage back there. The key feature is that they don’t ride up.  They stay in place so you’re not constantly doing the panty pinch or having to go full throttle down the back to push them back into place. I do experience VPL, so they are not designated for tight pants.  Perfect for shorts or generally loose fitting pants or when I really just don’t care.  No, they are not sexy but honestly…how sexy do I have to be to work part time take care of a three year old and a 14 year old, do occasional laundry, occasional cooking, occasional dishes, occasional…you get it. Sexy undies chafe.  They get stuck and then how sexy is it to have to pull them out, nonchalantly while you are at the park or the grocery store.  I head down the pet aisle.  There never seems to be anyone on the grocery store pet aisle so that is my designated g sting retrieval safe location.  I back right up against the big bags of puppy chow and go for it.  Who needs it? I have my stash of Victoria Secret goods for the occasions that call for it.  But everyday wear is just not my style.  Until…

A few Sundays ago at church I had a weird allergic reaction to what I thought was my new detergent.  As I was setting up I started getting really itchy all over.  I have had ugly reactions before so Dan went to CVS to get me some Benadryl real quick like and I started stripping what I could.  I was wearing one of PA’s dresses with pants and a t-shirt underneath so I took the pants and t-shirt off and just wore the dress.  The problem was my undies had been in the same wash that the pants and t-shirt had. No, I did not go commando. I was about to run home and change when my dear friend Amanda Tongg, like magic, pulls a new pack of Hanes Her Way undies out of her bag of tricks.  Just so happened that she had heard my maternity undie story and felt inclined to purchase me a pack of 7 no-ride bikini brief panties in assorted colors and had them with her that day.  She not only saved my life but help convince me that regular undies can be very comfy and not ride up.  I can now proudly say “I wear regular underwear”.  This will also save on the awkward occasions of going to Motherhood Maternity to buy a new pack and going into my detailed story when they ask my due date.

Comments

[Brandi]

Oh Lori, how I need you as my BFF. PLEASE??? At least consider it. I'm pretty flaky but I make a mean pumpkin scone.

[kimmysun]

I love you! you crack me up :)

[El Presidente]

You can wear a bucket on your head and be as sexy as all get out to me!

Is this an adult only blog?

[Nicole Bryant]

You are too funny! :)

[schronlisa]

i'll fight brandi for you.. i swear! i am crying.... the boys are watching star wars and asking me what i am laughing at.. how do i explain this? and amanda... she just has a way of caring for people, even their underoo needs, like none other.

[Debbie J]

Ok, I think I've got it! You are the new Irma Bombeck but of course you are way cuter and younger. You are too funny and you should write a book; or do stand up. You make me laugh way too hard. How come I am not funny? I am not even witty. I am trying to figure out which side you got it from. LOL! Keep making us laugh! Love ya!

[Susan]

Lori, You make us laugh here in Thailand too. I agree with Deb! You are the new Irma Bombeck and I am old enough to have read all her stuff. I am going to read the more of your blog now.